Saturday, April 24, 2004, 3:16 PM

Aftermath of a breakup

I met Marc outside the lido theatre last night and missed the twisted ending of Dawn of The Dead.But the movie was thrilling alright.Up till now,i still cant figure myself out.I know i hurt him.Do i still WANT him? MISS him?get JEALOUS?gee,i don't know.its kinda hard to tell after being together for so long...the feelings are gets about the same.i keep telling myself:Dont regret what you've done.Even if you did,STOP looking back.Get on with it!I don't want to hurt him anymore.What is happening to me is that i COULD be just lonely.Ppl keep telling me that when u go poly,can find someone else.Now that i dated some other guys,i feel that they are always not right.Marc has always been my best standard.I know he always have -ve tots bout girls.i hope that he would try some other ppl and change his mindset.this would and have been a moving on phase for both of us.He would be a really great catch for girls out there.Hes more a routine-like person.For me,i like things more unplanned and spontaneous.Spice up life.Our personalities and thinking clashes.we often cannot see eye to eye...more of a love-hate relationship.i am definitely more towards the wild side.Should i let him go while i search around...but then again,i dont wan to wind up with the same kind of life i had with him again.